Recently, my appetite is almost completely gone and I only eat because I have to. I have lost weight. Most nights, I can’t fall asleep until 3 am, and then I get up at 7 am. I have a complete lack of energy most days. I lack enthusiasm in almost everything (including things I once loved) and I struggle to concentrate a lot of the time. I have headaches quite a lot, sometimes so bad that they make me nauseous. I can become quite irritable towards my friends and family. And I just feel sad.

Also, when I was younger (in year 9, I think) I started self-harming to relieve some of the pain. When people found out, I was ashamed and I had to stop. However, in the past 2 months or so I’ve cut my wrists quite badly twice (and regretted it). I sometimes contemplate suicide, but in reality I’m not brave enough to go through with it. I just feel like my life is not worth living.

I’ve been experiencing these symptoms for about 9 months. They were very mild at first, but they’ve been getting worse. In the past 4 months, they’ve worsened rapidly.

I want to get a proper diagnosis (and possibly treatment, if necessary) but I’m scared. I really don’t like doctors, and the thought of having to tell a doctor that I think I might have depression just makes me feel horrible. I don’t like feeling weak, which is how I feel when I tell people about my problems. I have only confided in one person about this (my best friend) and just telling her made me feel like **** if I’m honest (though she was very supportive and offered to go to a doctor with me). Plus I don’t want people to think I’m attention seeking. Also, I don’t want my mum to know. I’m 16, so I’m old enough to see a doctor without her, but I know that eventually she’d find out. She suffers from depression herself, but we don’t get along (at all; she’s very harsh and abusive) so I don’t want her finding out.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to help myself with all these fears.

Hey there,

First thing id like to say is dont worry, you are not alone, there are thousands of people who feel the same way as you, you may get it from time to time in your life. at the time if might seem like it takes over your whole life, but these feelings will go away with the right support.
I really really really think you should see a doctor, no-one particularly likes going to the doctors, but their sole purpose is to help you if you are not feeling well.
You must trust your doctor. Always remember that if you do not like the doctor you usually visit, you can ask to see another one. It is your right to do this, noone will say anything.
Doctors are used to this, you would be surprised the amount of people in england with Anxiety/Depression. you really are not alone!

I have a best friend who has been through the same thing, it took us ages to realise he was self harming as he kept it hidden. In the end with our support and by seeking professional help he is once again %100 ok.

Thom

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