Thread: i so fucking lonely i hate myself!

hi,
i've not used this thing before just come across it so thoguth its worth a shot as none of you know me so i can spill the beans.

i've had a hard time the last few years and just when i thought i had got over eveerything it all starts again.i 'used' to self harm (dont go labelling me as some emo now not tht there is anything wrong with them) and so i was smart enough to go to a counseller and get it sorted but for the first time in about 6month i harmed again.

anyways better tell you what for. it may sound stupid but here it goes....
i've just started a new sixth form and well i hate it! the work is making me feel as if i'm drowning and i feel lonely most of the time. well this loneliness leads to thinking of things that have happened something i hate doing. so i was in bed and recently i have been suffering form insomnia and so couldn't get to sleep things were going around and around in my head and it was too tempting the only way i could stop think was to harm and them take my maind of it.

anyways i'm just wondering now what i should do.its too late to go to a different sixth form or college and i dont think i should bother the counseller with this because i'm sure she has other people she needs to see. one teacher has said i can go and talk to her but i dont think she will understand and might tell others.

put this way if you can imagine a line where the level of water is i am way under that line and i'm drowning, if you have any advice it would be welcome.
sorry to put this onto you but its easier to tell someone i dont know.

MayBe its a good thing your teacher would tell others.
You need to talk to your head of sixth form and explain your getting snowed under, they really will help you!
make time for mates, it does the world of good just tohave a laugh, if your lacking on them just get chatty with people on msn or whatever it makes them feel special and wanter just get your character across [ the
Best Bits] dont use pity teqniques.. and just dont waste time with jerks. You actually never no there might
Be someone in the same Boat, just go with the confidence even if its lacking. you need to put on a mask until you can do without it =]
You must tell your counciller it alllll! or what is the point shes wasting her time helping someone who wont ever Be cured cuz she dont know the full story. One things for sure leaving it and doing nothing a
Boout it wont help. whether you come to a decission with your teachers etc. that you should move school and stuff or not you have to talk. Just think you may feel Bad right now But as much as a cliche it is things will get .Better you just can't wallow. you have to hold your head up high and get going! 6th form aint that long then you can start a new at any college/uni/work you want !! RememBer theres people out there really sufferring who would do anything to Be in your shoes. make something of yourself for them millions of people. Dont waste your chance to life. No hurdle put infront of you is too high to jump, it wouldnt have
Been put there otherwise.
x

You need to find another way to take out your anger, like, and i know it sounds stupid, but pinging an elasticband, it worked for me. I still selfharm but not as much as i used to, Schools hard and so is my home life but you should make an effort to make some friends or maybe just focus on your studdys for a while. I hope things get better for you.

xxx...XXX

hi thanx for the advice,
i already tried the band thing but you see i stopped harming for ages and now its just all came back again and i'm nervous about going to the counseller or the teacher in case they think its stupid or in case i waste their time.
i have friends but its not fair to put this onto them and i dont think they will understand anyways.
any more advice would be greatly appreicated
thanx x

That's what counsellors are there for. You won't be wasting their time.

I think you should definitely tell your counselor. I know it can be difficult but you should try and be honest with him/her so that they can help you.
It might be helpful to speak to a teacher at your sixth form and let them know that you're struggling with the work. If they have already offered, you should take them up on it. After all they wouldn't have said it if they didn't mean it. It might take some of the pressure off you.
Most importantly, you did manage to stop self harming once so although things are tough just now, believe in yourself. There's no reason why you can't do it again if you get the help and support you need.
I hope I've helped. Let me know how things go.

counsellors have to keep things private - they're not allowed to tell anyone anything you don't want them to. Mind you, it's probably the first step towards something like recovery if you tell people your problems, and self-harm is a horrible situation to be in. Better out where people can try and help you than some terrible secret - and don't forget, there are prob thousands of people who self-harm. So you're not alone - all you need to do is break that vicious circle

i know what you mean and i found it is easyer to seek help from people your own age that are also strugling and just let it all out hope this helps

Thou shalt not dig up ridiculously old threads.

^ The secret 11th commandment, right there under thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's fine cow.

^lol thee does not knoweth any other commandments so thee shall not posteth much more.

You should go to the counsellor again, that's what they are there for to help you through tough times. I used to self harm, but one day i went too far and realised self harm isn't the answer to your problems. for me all i need to someone to talk to.
Start a diary and pour your heart and soul into it, absolutely everything even embaressing things you sometimes kid yourself out of it feels a little better to have everything out and not held in.
Try and find a nice wood or forest etc to go during nice weather to just sit in a secluded place helps, crying aso lets a lot out.